One Tiny Leaf

Short stories and poems

**This is a sneak peak of the story I will expand and revise for my final project of my writing degree. By the end of April, it will be at least 50 pages long and very polished. In the meantime, I am offering this preview because I'm not sure that this part of the story will appear in the final version (at least not in this form). Enjoy!


No one ventures into the Taiga. No one. A deep forest of firs who whisper on winter nights, it stretches far beyond our lands, some say through the whole world. Its mists and fire are inaccessible to us, and if we wander too deeply into the forest, its mysteries consume us. It is a ruled dominion of course, and it has boundaries and populations that do not mingle with ours. We have treaties with the Taiga Queen that govern against it. The Taiga Queen keeps or kills anyone who goes too far into her house. We kill the pests that enter into our house, the cockroaches, spiders, ants, and mice. Why shouldn’t she kill us when we go into hers? Some areas are neutral, like the fir wall, the very edge of the Taiga. But if you go more than one hundred paces into the forest, she will catch you, and then you are hers. Just last summer, our own cousin, Lim, heard the river daughters singing at the foot of the mountain where the trees block the sun, and he tried to find them. He never came out again, and we knew what happened.
The summer is a dangerous time. The Taiga Queen’s lover, Boreal, is gone hunting Elk kings all summer, and she will not see him again until the first snow. She grows lonely in the warm evening air and walks about disguised as a white mountain lion or a great brown she-bear looking for stray children. During the day, she shows the children glimpses of wild beasts, colorful birds, and strange animals, and she lures them with wild berries which grow just inside her borders. If they take the forbidden berries, the poor children are goners. At night, she throws her magic net into the sky, fishing for stars. You can see its long plumes grazing the treetops very late when the stars are brightest. Her pink and blue net waves in the sky, and if she catches enough stars, she weaves a necklace or a coronet to crown her dark head. She is deep in the forest when she casts it, and the youngest children believe if they find where the hem of it falls, they will find berries and honey and stars to bring their mothers. We lost the tailor’s daughter, Miska, that way.
My youngest brother, Kye, likes to wander ninety-nine paces into the forest and reach out his hand into the hundredth. My mother weeps whenever he does this and sobs, “You’re already hers.” I should have watched him closer. I should have kept him with me, but no declaration of “ought” will bring him back. In early October, we lost Kye. It was my fault.
The day Kye vanished, Boreal’s chariot was racing through the cedar trees, and their pointy heads were bowing beneath the rush of his return. My two sisters and I stepped ninety-nine paces into her house and walked the perimeter of our land calling out his name. Mother paced closer to home, wringing her hands and wailing with the neighbor women. Most of the others from the village came to help us, and soon everyone was involved in the familiar process. East and West for miles we searched, and we could not find him. Finally everyone gave up the search and declared him gone. This came as no surprise to me. How many other times had I given up on someone else’s brother? But those were not my fault.
“I knew he would go,” Mama sobbed. “He wanted her—she had him—from the start. If only there was some way to save him, somehow to get him back.”
I lay in my bed all night hearing her weep in my father’s arms. He feebly tried to console her and convince her to accept Kye’s fate.
“We could consult the Elders. We could ask for a brave --"
“It would be too late by then. He’s gone.”
My father is a weak man. His youngest son—his only son—is gone and surely not dead yet! How could he give up so easily? Someone should do something! I made my decision then. I had earned the consequence.
At dawn, I ran to the council where the Elders meet, and only Gisa the Wise was there so early. Gisa had known me since birth and had given me the sign of our people on my shoulder. I used to play with his wild dappled beard as he told me stories of our people’s long history of valor and triumph. His words were always honeyed with pride and love for our land and our people. The stories are grafted into my being, and because of them, I never feel alone.
“Well, Nanya, why are you here so early? Did your little Kye show up?”
“No, Grandfather Gisa,” I panted, the sharp morning air burning my lungs. “I must enter Taiga’s house to find him. If I go quickly enough, I may find him before it’s too late. Give me a blessing before I go!”
“I see,” he replied, stroking his long, wild beard. “Why would you do something so dangerous, Nanya? You know the danger of her house. You may never return if you go. Hasn’t your mother lost enough with Kye’s disappearance? You are but fifteen and newly a woman. What could you do to get Kye back? You should go back home and comfort your mother.” His earthy voice filled the house with warmth and security. I needed him, if only him, to understand.
“No, Grandfather Gisa, I can’t! It’s, it’s my fault,” I blurted, exposing the horrible secret I had sworn to bury that day. I started to cry as I continued. “I was supposed to be watching him, but our cistern was empty. I should have taken him to the well with me, but I left him playing behind the house. When I returned, he was gone. Oh, Grandfather Gisa, I know it’s not too late for Kye. He couldn’t have gone far in the space of one night. I have to find him! I have to go into the Taiga Queen’s house and get Kye back from her! If you bless my search for him, and I know I will find him.”
He looked at me deeply through his long white eyebrows. He sighed a long, ancient breath and drew an amulet from his neck. It was deep golden and covered in carvings, and in the center of it, an amber stone glittered in the light of the council fire. He hung it heavily around my neck, his eyes clouding with tears.
“Granddaughter, I see that nothing will deter you from this hell-bent pursuit. So take this token with you. Hopefully, it will keep you safe for awhile. I do not know much about it, but I have worn it since my childhood and never felt unsafe. My great-grandmother was a river daughter, you know. She gave this to my grandfather when he was a boy, and now I give it to you. May it be a help to you in her dangerous mansion. But remember this, if nothing else: you must return before the first snow, or you will be lost too. Now, go with my blessing.”
He kissed my forehead and promised to tell my family my message. So I entered Taiga’s house while the ice crystals turned to dew in the cold morning sun. I counted my steps slowly through the misty forest, entering from the point where I last saw Kye. When I reached the ninety-ninth, the rolling mists had thinned, and I saw an elk not thirty paces before me. He lifted his head, the crown of his antlers crashing with the low-hanging pine branches, and he lumbered back into the mist heading east. I held my breath, clutched Gisa’s amulet, and took the one hundredth step. I paused lingering on the thick carpet of needles. Silence surrounded me with throbbing intensity. The songbirds high in the branches cocked their heads and stared at me with curiosity. They knew I did not belong here. I heard noises behind me.
“Naaaanya! Naaaaanya!”My two younger sisters’ voices cried. Mother must have sent them after me. Their tearstained faces begging me to stay would mean the undoing of my quest, so I pressed ahead with reverent fear of the Taiga Queen tingling in my veins.
For an hour, I headed due north from our house, and in the entire hour, no one other than birds greeted me. I proceeded in silence and care, avoiding loose twigs and branches, always glancing around like a grazing doe. Finally, I stopped for rest in valley bogged with limbs and tree stumps. The last of the golden wildflowers lingered defiantly around the stumps, and I found a smooth one where I could take my rest.
As I sat, a gray wolf emerged from the trees to look at me. His yellow eyes stared into my hazel ones looking for a sign of submission. Frozen in fear, I did not move, not even to bow my head to him. I was an intruder, violating my people’s treaty with the Queen, and he would have been within his rights to tear me apart. When he saw that I was not going to move, he showed his teeth, growling a deep warning. Without knowing why I did it, I held out the amulet, and as the amber stone glittered in the sunlight, it grew warm in my hand. The wolf howled, his message echoing through the lonely trees, and retreated with his head lowered and his tail tucked. I still could not decipher any meaning from the amulet, nor could I understand my impulse to show it to the wolf. After he left, I wondered if Kye had met him too.
The trees were calm that night, and I was further into the forest than anyone had ever told in our village. If I made it back, I’d be the first to tell about it. I debated about building a fire. On the one hand, it would be a beacon to the Queen’s spies, but on the other hand, it was cold enough for me to be chilled beneath my furs. So I built the fire and hoped that nothing evil would find me. As it crackled and sparked, I leaned back against a fallen log and stared into the sky. The Queen’s net was spread wide above me, and stars glowed faintly behind its pink and green boundary.
A feathery rustle startled me out of my imaginings, and I clutched the amulet as I turned to see what had arrived. A white owl landed on the log beside me, and its cry almost sounded human. It alternated between staring at me and looking around the forest. After several minutes of this, the owl transformed into a girl before my eyes, and I was petrified in shock. I knew her; it was Miska, the tailor’s long lost daughter.
“Nanya, why are you here?” Miska asked. “Go home while you can, before she catches you.”
She was a pale shadow of the girl she I had known two years ago. Deep, black caverns had appeared under her eyes, and she was so thin that I thought my embrace would break her.
“Miska, I thought I’d never see you again. She turned you into an owl?”
“The day she caught me in her house and found out why I came, the Queen told me that if I gather and bring her the stars from the hem of her net, then I could go home. During the day, she makes me weave her robes with gold and silver thread, but at night she gives me the form of an owl to fly in search of her net’s end. Every time I reach one of the borders of the net, I see stars glittering in its tangles, and I am so close to them. But then the sunrise starts, and I must fly back to her before the sunlight touches my wingtips. All I want is to go home and hug my parents and sleep in my bed, but I am so tired.”
“Why don’t you just fly free of her and return home?”
“If I fly beyond her borders as an owl, I’ll stay an owl forever, and the wolves keep us from leaving by day.”
“Miska, this is terrible news. If I find the Queen, I’ll ask for your release too, but I came here looking for Kye. Have you seen him?”
“Oh, no! Your little brother is here?” she asked, her cavernous eyes filling with tears. She had often visited him with little molasses candies. “He was so little and curious when I used to come see him,” she sighed and shook her head. “If he is this far into Taiga’s house, he’s likely hers now. There’s nothing you can do for him. Just get out while you can, and be glad she didn’t find you. If I ever see him in daylight, I’ll look out for him as best I can. Now, I have to go. The night is getting late, but I may still have time to find the end of her net. It was good to see you, Nanya. If you make it out, please tell my parents about me.”
With that, Miska flew away, a white spot against the pink and green sky. As I turned back to the fire from watching her, a pair of unblinking yellow eyes stared at me from the other side of the fire. It was the great wolf from the afternoon. How long had he been there? As he sat down by the fire and curled up to sleep, I wondered if I would ever find Kye.
The next morning, the wolf herded me deeper into the forest, nudging me and forcing me to take his path, but he no longer bared his teeth or growled. Hours and hours we walked, over streams and rivers, through glades and dells, and finally up a steep mountainside. As the sun began to set and the pink strands of the Queen’s net appeared once again, I settled to camp on the open mountainside. The wolf circled me whining and nudging me to continue, but it would have been too dangerous to climb the rocky path in the dark.
I barely slept that night. During the long, cold hours various animals came to see what was by the fire on the mountain. Their shapes passed as dark shadows outside of the perimeter of the firelight, and occasionally the wolf would emit a low growl, keeping them at bay. I stared at the hazy net wafting through the sky and thought of Miska and Kye and all the others we lost and wished I could save them all.
By dawn, the fire had been cold ash for hours, and as I rose, so did the wolf. We continued our path up the mountain, and when we reached about half its height, the wolf led me to the far side of the mountain. As we approached northeast side, I heard the rushing roar of water. It was no whispering stream or babbling brook but a great convergence of rivers meeting in one ultimate plunge off of the precipice into a deep misty valley whose floor I couldn’t see from that height. A sprawling mansion had been carved into the face of the mountain, spanning either side of the waterfall as far as I could see. As the wolf prodded me forward, I knew we had arrived at the Queen’s royal palace.
The waterfall was too loud for me to hear the roar I could see escaping the mouths of the mountain lions guarding the entryway. The wolf preceded me, and the mountain lions sat obediently as he passed them. Their yellow eyes glared at me with dammed ferocity and barely restrained hunger. We entered her mansion, and I instinctively rubbed my thumb over the amulet. The wolf led me into a cavernous room with an enormous chair that stretched from the floor to the ceiling on the wall opposite the waterfall.
I stood immobile when I saw her in the chair. Her gold and silver robes rippled like water as she stood, and I was horrified to see that her height was several heads taller than any man I had ever seen. A coronet of stars was embedded in her black curling hair that fell untamed down the length of her back. Her skin was deathly white, and her obsidian eyes glinted at me from her enormous height. The wolf left me facing her with the falls at my back, and he sat like a noble statue by her side, watching my every shiver under her austere gaze. Yet somehow, I retained my composure and remained on my feet. I still don’t know how, for I was more terrified at that moment than ever before.
“Worm, you are in the presence of a queen,” she said, her rich voice drowning the waterfall’s roar. “You have come here to beg something of me, and you are not even kneeling. You must believe yourself to be very brave.”
The amulet in my hand grew hot, and the warmth seeped through my veins until I felt engulfed by it.
“I have never learned to kneel,” I replied, my small voice mingling with the water, “to neither a queen nor anyone else.”
“You are a fool,” she replied without changing her expression, “to enter my house unbidden so that you may beg from me and not even give the slightest gesture of obeisance or respect. So name your quest; what was worth breaking the promise your people swore to me?”
The amulet in my hand grew hotter.
“Where is Kye?” I demanded more confidently than I felt.
Her menacing laugh echoed off the rocky walls, surrounding me with her disdain.
“Pretty little Nanya, is he why you came? For a little boy too stupid to follow the decree? Your people didn’t care enough to keep him out of my house, so why did you risk your life to beg him back? He’s mine, mine, and you’ll never see him again,” she regarded me pensively for a moment and then continued. “No, I know what you really came for. You’re after my treasures, my silver and gold. Perhaps you even want to kill me and become queen yourself. Why do you think I called him and not you? I can see through this guise to your true desires. Your brother only wants to serve me, but you, you want to usurp me. Don’t you know how powerless you are against me? Why do you think your people made the treaty in the first place? An army of them couldn’t defeat me! The wolf said he was bringing me a warrior, but now I see that you are just a thoughtless child. You have nothing to offer me and are too stupid to know how to honor a queen. But I will teach you to fear me.”
As she stepped towards me, the amulet became unbearably hot, and I released it, exposing the glowing amber to the queen. She had stolen my brother and enslaved my friends, and anger at her boiled inside me as the amber cast orange light towards the queen. She doubled over and retreated back to her chair.
“I see I was right,” she gasped in short, choking breaths. “You want to kill me. Well, braver warriors than you have tried, little worm. My power is even more vast than my riches, and I will crush you before you ever learn to use Giza’s little trinket. And when you are dead, I will spread your bones beyond each horizon so that your people have nothing left of you for the burial grounds.”
The anger boiled over me, and I reacted from somewhere deep in my stomach.
“You hag,” I screamed, rousing the wolf and mountain lions who approached in bristled readiness. “You will not keep him. I will find him and bring him back, and then I’ll return for your head.”
With that, I ran straight into the waterfall, its icy rush cooling my rage and thrusting me down towards the mists.

**This story was also an exercise for class. It is still very rough and could use some expansion. It could have novel potential, but for now, I am setting it aside to work on my project for next semester.

Mara was already settled next to her mother in the creaky pews when Zoe entered All Saints Chapel and slouched between them. Zoe’s eyes were red and watery, and she stared at the lily coated casket sniffing loudly. Mara blushed and looked around at the other family members who peered at Zoe with sympathetic smiles. Great Uncle Kevin put his hand on her shoulder and whispered something into her ear, which made her nod and delicately smile. The chapel was nearly full when their grandmother walked down the aisle followed by her sons, Mara and Zoe’s fathers. She was stoic, calmly walking without a shake in her step. Until she reached Zoe, that is. She paused to embrace Zoe, and both of them started crying and trembling in each other’s arms. Mara looked down at her shoes, the black patent leather reflecting her unaffected face. She tried to feel something as she covered her dry eyes with her long brown bangs. Her mother glanced over at her and gave an exasperated sigh. She licked her thumb and index finger and smoothed Zoe’s bangs over to the side where they would stay out of her face. Normally, this would produce a dramatic reaction from Mara, but today the last thing she wanted was a scene. Her mother had not shed a tear, even when Uncle Joe had called to give the news about Mara’s grandpa dying. When Mara’s grandmother finally took her seat in front of the cousins, Zoe turned to Mara and gave her a hug.
“I’m so glad that you’re staying with us this weekend,” she whispered. “I haven’t seen you in ages. You’ve gotten tall and skinny. You must have boys falling all over you.”
Zoe was only ten years older than fifteen year old Mara, but she spoke like a senior citizen. Mara smiled and gave an obligatory laugh, but she didn’t know what else to say. As the priest began the opening prayers and the women around Mara descended to the kneelers, a pendant freed itself from Zoe’s cardigan and began swinging like a pendulum. Mara stared at it, and she forgot to pray, as Zoe’s eyes were shut in fervent reverence. The pendant was a small circle hung on a thick golden chain and had something in another language carved on it. An oblong vial filled with a clear liquid on one end and a dark liquid on the other was dangling from the circle. Mara had never seen anything like it, and by the time, the prayers were over, she was completely mesmerized by it. She wondered where Zoe could have gotten something so unique. Mara’s lips automatically recited the liturgy, and she continued to steal glances at it. The vial sat perfectly between Zoe’s tiny breasts, making it appear that she actually had definable breasts. Mara imagined the necklace accentuating her own blossoming chest. Tony Paruzzo, her attractive lab partner in Mr. Felson’s Chemistry class, would notice her then. She pictured it with a sleek, black prom dress, perfectly complimented by a trailing white orchid corsage, long black gloves, and Tony Paruzzo in a tuxedo. Suddenly, Zoe interrupted her thoughts by hugging her tightly during the Passing of the Peace, and she erupted into tears once more, this time soaking Mara’s shoulder in the display. Mara awkwardly patted Zoe’s back. Even though she wanted to, she could not try to touch the necklace without appearing to make an inappropriate gesture.
At the reception, her great-aunts and great-uncles hovered around her grandmother, and Mara could not find her mother anywhere. Zoe stood in a circle of prunish women, laughing and dabbing tears with an embroidered handkerchief as they exchanged stories about Mara’s grandfather. Zoe was chronicling the family history in a set of books that would include a family tree when she was finished. It was her graduate school project, and Mara couldn’t believe that she was actually paying a school to teach her how to do that. It seemed impractical. Mara wanted to go to nursing school after graduation. Zoe had spent extensive amounts of time with the old people in the family, listening to their stories, reading excerpts from their journals, and recording interviews with them. After circling the room in search of her mother, Mara finally ended up next to Zoe, her gaze wandering between the tiled floor and the pendant.
“I have to ask,” Mara couldn’t resist, “what is that necklace and where did you get it?”
“Oh, Grandpa gave it to me in June for my twenty-fifth birthday. Isn’t it beautiful? It’s been in our family for hundreds of years.”
“Hundreds?” Mara gasped.
She grinned, “Yes, I’m sure you know that we’ve traced our family as far back as one of the members of Ponce de Leon’s expedition team when he came to Florida. The story goes that our ancestor got lost from the rest of the group and was rescued from almost certain death by a group of native women. He fell in love with one of the women, and eventually she led him to the fountain he’d been searching for. Supposedly, this is the water from the fountain.”
“You’re telling me that you’re wearing water that could make you immortal?” Mara was incredulous.
“Come on, Mar, it’s just a story. Who knows what it does? From my research, I know that this water has been enclosed for at least one hundred and fifty years. Would you drink anything that old?”
“Why is it two different colors?” She reached out, not daring to touch it. Zoe didn’t move.
“One side is the water of death, which reconstitutes a wounded body, and one side is the water of life, which reanimates the body. With only the water of death, you can’t bring life back to a body, and with only the water of life, you can’t heal a reanimated body. So our ancestors wisely preserved both.”
“And nobody’s tried it? Or at least sent it to be tested or something?”
“Would you give up potential immortality to a lab? Besides, what would they find? Chemically, it’s just water. It’s the fact that it’s sacred water that gives it power.”
With that, she turned to continue mingling with the elder members of the family. What awesome power, thought Mara. Even just the potential of it was tempting. She could carry the keys of life between her breasts and walk with infinite power. Who’s to say that it isn’t really magical water? Who’s to say that it couldn’t be reproduced in a lab just like anything else?
Zoe went to bed early that night, totally spent from a day of crying and reminiscing about people who died before she was born. Mara stayed up to sulk and read during the languor of the adults’ droning conversation. Fortunately, they were rooming together in Zoe’s old room, and when Mara came to bed at eleven, Zoe’s even breathing signaled Mara’s chance to hold the pendant. She hovered over the bedside table staring at it and holding her breath. Just as she reached for the pendant, Zoe stirred and mumbled “come to bed already, Mar.” Mara exhaled and crawled into bed.
As Mara lay in the darkness, she longed for the pendant. What would she do with all that power? She imagined a future where she was Zoe’s age, working in the cancer ward of a metropolitan hospital. One day she would discover Zach Efron in one of her beds, and even with terminal cancer, he would still be gloriously handsome. She would nurse him with care, and they would gradually fall in love, sneaking kisses in his hospital room. Inevitably he would die in her arms, and she would shed a single tear. And that would be when she would use the vial. The water of death would heal the cancer, and the water of life would bring him back. She fell asleep dreaming about the beautiful children she would have with Zach.
It was six am when Mara heard bright brassy notes of jazz filtering through the room. It was old people music. She groaned and pulled the pillow over her head. Zoe came in singing along and toweling her wet hair. She was already wearing the pendant over a boucle sweater.
“Rise and shine, Mar-mar. Grandma came over for breakfast,” Zoe chirped.
Mara drowsily lay in bed thinking of ways to obtain the necklace.
1. Ask for it. (Zoe would never give up something Grandpa gave her.)
2. Make one that looks like the real thing—a decoy—and switch them when Zoe’s not looking. (She’d probably notice, and that would take too much time.)
3. Steal it. Just take it in the night. (It’s kind of wrong, but why should Zoe have it anyways?)
As Mara tried to maintain consciousness over breakfast, her eyes fixated on the necklace swinging and bobbing on Zoe’s chest. She would get it somehow.
“And Mara, dear,” her grandmother said after Mara returned from her morning primping routine. “I have something special for you today. Come sit with me.”
Her father and uncle had gone fishing, and her mother was cleaning the last of the breakfast dishes. Zoe sat across from the couch where their grandmother sat patting the cushion next to her and blinking expectedly at Mara. She obeyed with affected boredom.
“Sweetie, your Grandpa told me a few weeks ago that he regretted not spending more time with you when he was healthier,” she glanced at Mara’s mom with a mysterious eyebrow lift that only the two of them understood. “Now, don’t feel bad about about that, honey, you can’t help that you live two states away and that you’re busy with your own life. He just wished there had been more time I think. Anyways, I suggested that he write you a letter and explain what he wanted to leave you,” she said even-keeled.
“Leave me?” Mara couldn’t hide her curiosity any more. “I don’t understand. I thought he left me money.”
“He did, but he also left you a few things from the house,” she paused, “and one very important thing.”
“What is it?” Mara asked eagerly.
“Well, before you get too hasty, let me explain. Your Grandpa knew that Zoe was getting a lot of the antiques because she cares about those things, and he knew she’d be a good custodian. But he didn’t want you to think you weren’t worth as much to him. Believe me, he loved you to bits. The official will reading is tomorrow, but I thought you’d want a chance to think this over before you have to decide what to do. Here’s the letter.”
She ripped it open, secretly enjoying Zoe’s wince as the envelope shredded.
Dear Mara,
I hope this letter finds you well. I wish you and I could have gotten to know each other better. It’s been a long time since the Christmas that everyone came out to our house, and I’m sure you’ve changed a lot since then. You were adorable with your doll collection and fluffy pink dresses. Now I guess you’re too old for that stuff.
I wish I had more to leave you. Hopefully they’ve told you by now about the small amount of money I left you. I want you to use it for college, if you can save it that long. If not, at least think of me when you spend it. If you are ever curious about me, if you want to know more about my life, ask your Grandma or Zoe. They could both tell you more about me than I could even think to put in this little letter. However, I didn’t want you to feel like Zoe got everything just because she likes heirlooms.
I want you to take Fortune home with you. He’s too much trouble for your Grandma, and I can’t think of anyone who’ll love that bird more than you. We got him when your mom was about your age, and in your pictures, you look so much like your mom did then that I’m sure he’ll be comfortable with you. She used to tell Fortune her secrets. Maybe when he sees you, he’ll remember some of them. Your Grandma has his paperwork and everything. Take good care of him for me.
Love,
Grandpa

Mara put the letter down, slightly confused. She had only vague memories of Fortune the African Gray Parrot. Mara could remember her mother saying that they lived about 80 years and that they had the intelligence of a two year old child, which was just enough to make them a handful. Mara’s mother was standing in the doorway, holding the dishtowel limp by her side. Any thoughts of the pendant had vanished from Mara’s mind completely, and before she realized what she was doing, she hugged her Grandma, her eyes wet with tears.
“Thank you, Grandma,” she whispered. “Thank you so much.”
Two weeks later, Mara was getting ready for school, and she had brought the bird into her bedroom. Fortune perched on the vanity, hovering over Mara’s mirror.
“Good grief, look at you,” he squawked. “You look like a streetwalker.”
Mara glanced in the mirror at her jeans and v-neck blouse. It seemed normal enough to her.
“Why did you say that, Fortune?” she asked, mistakenly believing that the bird could reason with her.
“Are you going to school or to a bordello?”
After that, no matter what Mara said to Fortune, his reply was “whore” or “slut” which he would apply to her interchangeably. Finally, Mara gave a short laugh, and put him back in his cage.
As she was locking the door, he said, “Well, fine, Carly, if you want to look like a whore, fine, but you better expect you’ll be treated like one.”
Mara left for the day with Fortune’s words ringing in her ears. The bird had called her Carly, her mother’s nickname in high school. Now she went by Carolyn. Had her mother dressed inappropriately as a teenager, or was her Grandpa just so ornery that the bird picked it up?
Later that night, Mara and her parents sat at the dinner table eating quietly, and suddenly, Fortune chimed in, “For Pete’s sake, cross your ankles. Everyone can see your business.”
Mara’s mother jerked visibly when he said that, and Mara’s father gave her a quizzical look.
“Children, were you born in a barn? Get your elbows off of the table. Sit up straight. Finish your vegetables,” he continued.
As Mara’s mother did the dishes, and Mara sat at the kitchen table reading, the bird landed on Carloyn’s shoulder and said loudly, “Do you want to know a secret?”
He waited expectantly for her “Yes,” and as soon as she said it, he continued, “Someday I’m gonna leave here and never see you or Daddy or Momma ever again.”
As Fortune flew back to his cage, Mara realized why they lived two states away from the rest of the family and why it was so rare for them to go back. She wondered if Fortune would ever favor them.

**This was an exercise for one of my writing classes. The assignment was to write a very brief story (or part of a story) from a second person point of view. The exercise was supposed to follow a how-to format using a Wiki instructional article, but it was also supposed to tell a story about something other than the how-to. My randomly assigned how-to was skydiving.

Close your eyes and try to inhale as your face breaks the air at 120 miles per hour. As you fall, forget about everything that came before this moment, and linger in the blasting euphoria of floating over everything. The months of searching for just the right place with the right instructors and the right weather are behind you. Perhaps you were a bit too zealous in your research, or perhaps you were scared. Either way, right now you are joined at the hip with a stranger who’s screaming “isn’t this great?” But you can barely hear him because of the rush of the sky parting for your passage.
Why haven’t you done this sooner, you wonder. What stopped you all those years? You glance over at your son, Jake, his tanned, skinny arms clutching the instructor for dear life, and you see his hand move slightly to give you a thumbs up. He scared out of his mind, but he’s loving this. You are finally able to give him something he’ll never forget. Last week, you may have been forcibly removed from your home by your wife, and you may have seen Jake flushed and staring at the ground as he tried not to cry. But right now, in this moment of boundless freedom, you are creating an immortal presence in his psyche. The ground is slowly getting closer, but you don’t care. You are nearly 5000 feet over farmland 200 miles from her and your old life, and next week your new life begins on the other side of the country. But today you have him, and you have this.
You glance at Jake again and give a confident grin, much like the one you gave him as you both stood on the threshold between the plane and the sky. His apple red parachute is fully open now, and he and his instructor dangle above you and yours. You remember him making fun of your rainbow parachute, nervously shifting in his harness before the jump. The wind currents play with your feet, and you feel as though you are surfing down towards a green plate of broccoli. Tiny ants stand still in a rolling green meadow beneath you, and you hear the instructor mention “avoiding the cows.”
Jake is laughing loudly and shouting “wooo” just like he did when you took him to his first NFL game before things got ugly with Melinda. This was before she started drinking, before you met Lisa, and before Jake had to leave his expensive private school for public junior high. You thought he’d never forgive you for that, but you had to pay the mortgage somehow after Melinda lost everything that night at Harrah’s. You remember Lisa telling you to cut the cord, and you laugh a little at the irony of that statement at this moment. Lisa had Hollywood connections, and you thought you’d struck gold when she found an agent for you. She’s not your type though, bossy and demanding. You like a hands off woman, but Lisa got you a ticket away from your nightmare with Melinda.
It was so important at the time, and a week ago there was nothing else to life but escaping somehow. Now floating over everything, you seem small in the grand scheme of things. So does Melinda, so does Jake, and so does Lisa. Why even bother with any of it, you wonder. This is where freedom is, over everything. You look behind behind you and see a growing white van tracking the parachutes as the field looms larger beneath you. You experience a brief glimmer of loss and sad expectancy as you realize that landing means leaving Jake and everything you know. That van will transport you from Jake’s dad of the present to Jake’s dad of the past. You think of the football games, the graduations, the everyday accomplishments of his growing up that you will miss because of this exodus that was so tantamount a week ago. If only there was a way for everyone to win, you think, as the cows grow larger and the broccoli looks more like trees. If only there was something here for you. But as the smell of bovine reality, grass and manure, cuts into your nostrils, you know you could never be happy here. You could never really escape her on this side of the Rockies, and there is no place in your Hollywood dream for a child. As the instructor guides the swaying parachute to a safe landing point, you glace up at Jake and shout “how ‘bout it, buddy?” and cringe under his adoring grin. Next year, you will take him surfing and star spotting in L.A. But as your feet hit the damp grass, you know that he will hate you by then.

** This is inspired by my summer-long battle with ants in my kitchen. It is meant to be a play-like conversation. Enjoy!**

Genocide in The Kitchen
A parley between an Ant and Me

Ant: Oh my God! Water! It’s all around me. How can I get out of here…there’s no way out of here! Ach! (cough, cough)

Me: “Caught you! Don’t even try to leave! You’ll drown.”

Ant: Oh no! It’s her! The Woman! I’ve got to run away. Oh, no. No, no. This isn’t happening. I can see the others across the Sink, the rest of my troop. She drowned them! Some of their legs are still moving. I am going to die.

Me: “How did you get in here? I thought I sealed all the entrances. Yet here you are! At least 100 of you. Where did you come in?”

Ant: Don’t say anything. She’ll kill you no matter what. No, maybe not. Maybe she’ll leave me alone if I reason with her. Ok. Here goes. “Please don’t hurt me, Woman! I know you have killed thousands of my friends and family members, but please take mercy on me. I am defenseless before you, and you are so powerful and strong. Please just let me go home.”

Me: “No! You invaded my home with your friends! You were trying to steal from me!”

Ant: “Invade? Steal? I do not know these words? What are you talking about? What is ‘steal’?”

Me: “You took what is mine from me, and you entered my home without permission to do so. For this my punishment is death, by drowning, paper towel, or vacuum.”

Ant: “Death? For this? I don’t understand. We didn’t know we needed permission. The Queen, she sent us—”

Me: “The only queen in this house is me!”

Ant: “But MY Queen sent us to you for food. Just the crumbs, you see—the things too small for you. They feed our whole village. Surely you would not begrudge something so small to you that to us is so much! Perhaps we have offended you. Were YOU planning to eat the sink crumbs? This is where you store food for your own family?”

Me: “No. You know very well that my storage areas are the Fridge and Pantry.”

Ant: “Did we ‘invade’ those?”

Me: “Well, no.”

Ant: “So if YOU weren’t going to eat it, and you weren’t storing it for your family, why shouldn’t I take it to mine?”

Me: “Because it’s mine! You had no permission and you had no right to presume it was yours for the taking! You can’t just take for free what others have worked hard to earn.”

Ant: “You have no idea how hard we worked to get here, especially after you sealed our main entrance. It took our scouts days to find another way in. Is that not earning it? Our builders work day and night, as do our scouts and retrievers. Don’t they deserve food?”

Me: “Yes, but not mine!”

Ant: “Why not? You were going to discard it anyways. If you could fit in my house, I am sure my Queen would feed you because she is kind to everyone, especially a neighbor. So we come to your house as neighbors, and you must slaughter us by the hundreds? Because we desire your leftovers? Where is the logic in that, your majesty?”

Me: “Point taken. But I still do not like you to be in my house. I am not so hospitable as your queen. In my eyes, your very presence is an act of war.”

Ant: “Then can we not have some kind of treaty between us? We are a peaceful tribe, and we certainly do not want war with our neighbors, certainly not ones as formidable as you.”

Me: “Very well. Here is our agreement then: You may take my food, but only from the trash bins outside--”

Ant: “But you put those in tied bags! It is much more difficult to retrieve the food!”

Me: “I’m sure you’ll find a way. Anyways, you may take that, but if you or your friends ever enter my house again—even for food—you’ll return home with poison that will kill all of your tribe including your precious Queen. If you respect my boundaries, like the good neighbor you claim to be, you may take what you wish, and in return, I will not destroy your home.” Take this message to your Queen.”

Ant: “Woman, I will take the message, but I cannot guarantee the result. After all, the genocide of my tribe is on your hands when we never meant anything but good for you. Yes, I will tell her of your malicious treaty and of your cruel slaughter today. But I hope your conscience makes you feel our hunger and fear.”

The Ant leaves. And moments later: Ding Dong! Ding Dong!

Me: “Ah! The Orkin Man!”

Here is a very short story that I wrote this past fall.

9:04

Tick. Throb Tick. Throb Tick. Throb.

Why can’t the throbbing and the ticking be in unison? Then perhaps I wouldn’t think about it. Every pore of my skin has a needle in it, and every needle is twisting and thrusting deeper into my skin. I’m starting to sweat.
It’s 8:42. AM or PM? I can’t remember. It must be morning; I can hear the annoying buzz of morning talk shows on the neighboring TV. It’s raining, and colliding with the monotony of the early spring shower is the sound of Rachel’s voice. She’s laughing with a carefree giggle. Why is she so cheery? Why is she laughing right outside the door? Doesn’t she know how much pain I’m in? I think she’s secretly laughing at me. Eighteen minutes till relief.
It’s 8:43, and Mr. Lovett is coughing. He’s the darling patient, waited on hand and foot. Through the thin veneer of the taupe canvas dividing our room, I can just make out his hand reaching for the red button. His cough is staccatoed by phlegm, and as it rises, it gurgles in his throat. He’s wheezing now, and Rachel enters our room.
My scalp is burning and feels as though it’s separating from my skull. A serrated knife is scraping my stomach, hollowing me before it pokes through my navel. I want to scream or cry, but my throat is parched. Rachel is fluffing Lovett’s pillows, and I can’t even have a glass of water.
“Would you like some pain killer now, Tom? Your breakfast should be here soon,” she asserts loudly to him, her voice exploding through the canvas divider as if taunting me.
I’m sure he’s ordered a gourmet feast, and I’m sure the smell will simultaneously intoxicate and nauseate me. How long has it been since I ate solid food? The whole room smells sterile, like formaldehyde. Lovett occupies the side close to the door, where he receives ample attention. I am forgotten behind the curtain by the window. The needles are pushing deeper. It’s 8:50.
“Rachel?” I whisper. Nothing. Silence. “Rachel?” a slightly louder croak.
Her blue eyes peep around the canvas, gazing with a patient indifference.
“Yes, Bill?” she asks, her honeyed voice resonating off the window.
“Please, the medicine. I need it now,” I manage as the words rake across my throat, colliding with my dry tongue.
She glances at the clock, and considers it for a moment. Perhaps she will be merciful; perhaps she does understand. Her blonde head starts to wag, and she smiles sadly, exposing whitened teeth.
“Not yet. Not until 9:00, ok? You can make it until then. It’s only a few minutes.”
It’s nine minutes. She doesn’t understand how long that is. If someone placed iron weights on her legs and glued her back to a thin mattress, maybe then she’d understand. Her back turns to sneer at me as she leaves, the green scrubs disappearing behind the canvas and then out the door.
It’s 8:52, and Lovett’s breakfast arrives. It is intoxicating. Eggs and bacon permeate the room with a delicious odor that makes my aching stomach churn. I strain my eyes, trying to see it through the taupe divider. He lifts his glass and tilts his head back as he swallows his pills, gulping the orange juice with satisfaction. I am salivating a little now as he lets a sigh of relief escape his quenched lips.
It’s 8:53, and I can’t stand to watch Lovett any more, so I turn my gaze back to the off-white ceiling. My eyes hurt. I am surrounded by neutral walls, white linens, a taupe divider, and nothing to make me remember the comfort of color. My IV bag is full of clear, unsatisfying liquid that is supposed to hydrate me, but I have never been so thirsty.
The pain is intensifying, and I am being stabbed in places I didn’t know could hurt. I feel splinters under my toe nails, and screws drilling into my jaw. My heart is beating my raw chest with heroic strength, as though it is trying to escape its cavity. I moan, still smelling Lovett’s breakfast, and it’s 8:54.
“Good morning, neighbor,” he rasps with seemingly good intention.
I say nothing. What is there to say? He has everything that I cannot. The nurses dote over him because he is so polite and good looking. His dark hair and green eyes, his muscular build and Southern accent make him a favorite among the nurses. Why should I speak to him?
“Oh, I guess you’re having a bad time of it today, eh?” he says knowingly. What does he know?
“Alright, I get it. I’ll be quiet until 9,” he winks with large enough head bob that the movement is unmistakable through the divider.
Either he is a fool or he is mocking me. I wish I had the strength to punch his lights out. He coughs, and my stomach splits on the inside. It’s 8:56. Only four minutes. It will be over soon, soon enough.
I’m gripping the paper thin sheet, staring at my toes. They have turned a grayish yellow. My skin feels dry and cool, but fire courses through my veins. Footsteps echo in the hallway. Is it her? They stop outside the door. Laughter, muffled talking, and no, it is not her. The intern is checking on Lovett, and he’s still eating, taking his time with the delectable feast they’ve spread before him. My eyes start to water hot tears, and a burning itch overwhelms my fingers.
“Please,” I hoarsely whisper. “Please let me have it now.”
The intern approaches my bed, and peers at my chart. He glances at the clock, shrugs, and stares at me with cold, uncaring eyes.
“I’ll get your nurse,” he says as he turns to leave.
It’s 8:59, and I can hear Rachel in the hallway, talking to the intern. She’s telling him not to worry about me, that she’s got it under control. I can barely hear her over the roaring in my ears. My body is burning, and she’s laughing at his joke. She partially opens the door, and a spear pins me to the bed. She takes a look at Lovett, and it’s 9:00.
It’s time for me; it’s my turn. Rachel makes casual small talk with Lovett. Yes, it’s still raining, and it should continue all day. It’s terrible news about the tax increase. She continues talking to him with a cheerful nonchalance. Is his cough still bothering him? She inquires with more detail about his health. My medicine is in her left hand. The syringe is poised between her fingers. He is joking with her coyly, and it’s 9:01.
The pain has consumed my entire body. I can’t feel anything but it anymore. The sheets are gone, the thin mattress has vanished, and the lumpy pillow has disappeared. My only smell, sight, sound, taste, and touch is a burning, intense pain. The scream I long to expel is stifled in my throat, and it’s 9:02.
It’s 9:03, and she’s looking me over. I can feel her gaze as she adjusts the IV. Her cold fingers wrap around my wrist and feel for the pulse of my thrashing heart. She lifts the syringe and injects it into the IV.
It’s 9:04. I’m numb, and I’m waiting for oblivion.

I hope you enjoy what I've posted here. Remember that if you have any thoughts, concerns, or suggestions regarding the blog, I'd love the feedback! More writing will be coming soon as I sift through my documents folder! In the meantime, please keep reading!

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall / Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
And all the King’s horses / And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again

Once upon a time in a land far away there lived a great King with three beautiful daughters. The eldest daughter was lovely to behold. She had dark hair and eyes and excelled in spinning the finest silk. The King had given her hand to a wealthy prince who promised the alliance of their kingdoms for her hand. The middle sister was fair and radiant with long, blonde hair. She danced more beautifully than anyone in the kingdom. The King had given her hand to the wealthiest lord in the land who promised to throw great balls in the King’s honor if the princess should marry him. The youngest daughter, Drusilla, was the most beautiful of them all. She had hair that blazed red like fire and eyes as blue as the sea. Her skill was in her wit and cleverness. She loved to test her suitors with riddles and games, and she had outsmarted every one of them.
One day her father came to her and very sternly said, “Drusilla, I am tired of your games. You are unhappy with every suitor who comes to win your hand. I cannot have you growing old and childless in my castle. You must choose a suitor, or I will choose one for you.”
“Oh, father,” she cried. “I cannot marry any of these men! They are all so stupid and boring. What kind of wife would I be to a man who cannot match my wit?”
The King paused to consider this. Because he loved his daughter very much and because he was a kind King, he decided to compromise with his daughter.
“Very well,” he said. “We shall have a contest to see who the best husband for you is. A horrible dragon has been terrorizing the southern third of the country. None of my bravest soldiers have been able to beat him. We shall decree that the man who kills this dragon and brings his head before my throne shall win your hand. Only a very cunning man could kill a dragon. You will be satisfied with the outcome of this contest, or I will marry you to whomever I please.”
“Yes, father,” she replied sullenly.
So the decree was announced throughout the land, and all the bravest men arranged hunting parties. Princess Drusilla’s beauty was famed everywhere, and many men would be proud to have such a lovely princess for a wife.
Far away, in the eastern realm of the kingdom, word of this contest reached Lord Humphrey M. Dumpty. Now Lord Dumpty’s grandfather had done some great deed in his day and had amassed a great trove of jewels, gold, weapons, and armor. He had also been given a castle and land, which he passed on to Humphrey’s father. Humphrey’s father was a very forgetful man, who liked to do nothing all day but drink his ale, smoke his pipe, and tell long-winded stories with no point at all. He never told Humphrey what his famous grandfather had done to become so wealthy, nor had he bothered to explain what any of the treasures in the castle were. As far as Humphrey knew, they were just lucky. Humphrey had always dreamed of doing brave things, fighting dragons and marrying princesses, but he had inherited his father’s love of ale and pipes and doing nothing. So Humphrey had never ventured into other parts of the kingdom.
When word reached him of the contest, he became so excited that he smashed his flagon of ale and declared that he would be the one to win the princess. His servants snickered right in front of him, and mocked his dramatic declaration. Nevertheless, Humphrey had made up his mind. Having no battleworn soldiers or hunters to take with him, Humphrey selected his herdsman, Ned, to go face the dragon with him as his squire. Ned had chased wolves away from his sheep, and Humphrey figured that Ned was the bravest person he knew. They went into the Dumpty castle’s armory together, and Humphrey selected the sturdiest looking breastplates, helms, and all the protective gear he could find. Then he looked at the swords, and he found a huge curiously carved sword hanging in a place of honor higher than all the rest. Humphrey immediately took that sword. What Humphrey didn’t know was that this sword was magical, and his grandfather had used it to strike fear into the hearts of not only dragons but ogres and trolls back in his day. This sword was the main reason the Dumpty family had become wealthy.
The next day, Humphrey and Ned set out with all the provisions they needed, and they traveled southward toward the realm where the dragon was rumored to be. As they went, they met many weary, wounded, and frightened noblemen escaping from their own battles with the dragon. They tried to warn Humphrey and Ned against going, but Ned would not hear of it.
“My master is braver than you know,” he would boast. “He will not return empty handed or run away like a coward.”
Having spent so much time with the sheep, Ned did not know Humphrey very well, and he naturally assumed that a wealthy lord was also brave and cunning. Ned’s boasting gave Humphrey the courage to continue, and they finally reached the dragon. It was a great red and black beast whose size dwarfed any man who approached it.
Humphrey had no clue what to do, so he put on all his protective armor, drew his sword, and walked slowly toward the dragon. The dragon saw him, exhaled a fiery breath, and glared at him. But as soon as he saw Humphrey’s sword he jumped back.
“Please do not kill me, Lord Dumpty, I promise to give you whatever you want. Only do not take my life.”
“You know who I am?” Humphrey asked incredulously.
“I would know that sword anywhere. Your grandfather killed my cousins with it and swore he would send his mighty sons after me if I ever caused trouble. I see from your armor that you are indeed a mighty warrior. Please show me mercy and I will do whatever you ask.”
“It’s no good, dragon! I need a dragon’s head to win the princess I desire. So I must kill you.”
“Wait, stay your blade. I can get you a dragon’s head if that’s all you desire. My brother died only days ago. I will give you his head in return for my life.”
“And you must leave this region and never return here again.”
“Whatever you command I shall do.”
So the Humphrey climbed the dragon’s back, and they flew to the dragon cemetery where Humphrey used his blade to sever the head of the dragon’s dead brother. Then he traveled to the King’s court and presented the dragon’s head, telling a long tale of a great battle in which he defeated the dragon through wit and swordplay. The King was so delighted with Humphrey that he immediately promised Drusilla’s hand in marriage. He gave a great feast in Humphrey’s honor, and the princess was married to him the next week.
Some time after returning to Lord Dumpty’s castle, Drusilla began to suspect that her husband was not as brave or cunning as he claimed to be. He was very easy to trick, and he never solved any of her riddles. She also noticed that he did nothing to check the slothfulness or disrespect of his servants. Humphrey had returned to his old ways of drinking ale, smoking his pipe, and telling long stories that had no point. He was starting to expand into a rotund, egg-shaped man from his laziness and hearty appetite. Drusilla grew bored with her husband and frustrated with the servants, and she took to calling her husband Humpty Dumpty, which became popular with the servants as well.
One day, on exploring the castle, she came upon the armory with all its treasures and mysteries. As she was gazing over the weaponry, a new thought dawned on her. If she wasn’t married to such a useless husband, she could go on adventures and win fame with the great sword that hung high above the others. She guessed that this great sword was magical, and she had suspected all along that the magical sword did all of the work for Humphrey. Why shouldn’t she have a chance to try it too? She groaned at the thought that she never would. She didn’t have the heart to kill her oafish husband, but from then on all of her tricks somehow put him in harm’s way. Perhaps fate would see fit to give her freedom, she thought.
One night, during a great storm the King’s standard was ripped from the highest wall of the castle by a strong wind. The King and a great company of his soldiers were to arrive at the castle to visit Princess Drusilla the next day. The morning after the storm the winds were still high, and Princess Drusilla was in a mischievous mood.
“My father is coming today, and there is no standard flying over our castle to greet him. What kind of loyal subject does not unfurl a banner or fly the King’s colors to herald his arrival?” she demanded severely.
“I shall have one of my trusty servants take care of it,” he responded, but Drusilla would hear none of it.
“We both know that only the lord of the land is fit touch the King’s flag. How dare you put a duty of such importance in a servant’s hands? My father will be very displeased when he finds out about this.”
So Humphrey grumbled, rolled his eyes, and emerged from his favorite chair, pipe still in hand. He took the King’s flag up the stairs of the highest tower, and opened the door to the wall. The wind was thrashing against the castle wildly, and from that height, Humphrey could see the King and his men approaching in the distance. Humphrey carefully stepped out onto the wall to mount the flag in its rightful place, and after securing it, he turned to go back inside the tower. But a great burst of wind threw Humphrey from the wall, and he fell into the courtyard, shattering all his bones. When the King and his men arrived, they gave what help they could. But it was too late; Lord Humphrey Dumpty was beyond repair, and he died shortly after his fall. Princess Drusilla was widowed and free to find her fame.

The main purpose of this blog is to share stories, poetry, and ruminations with anyone interested. Although, it is still in the process of construction (and probably always will be to some extent), I heartily welcome any constructive comments on the appearance or suggestions as to how to make it better.

I feel that sharing stories is not only important but part of what we were made to do.

If you can imagine the world of art as an enormous forest, and if you can imagine the community of writers today as one tree in that forest, then please consider my writing as one tiny leaf contributing to a much greater whole.

--Sarah Hogg

About One Tiny Leaf

I see my writing as one tiny leaf on a great big tree of budding authors. While I hope to one day publish professionally and find a community of writers and readers, for the present this blog allows me the space to put my work to the test. I welcome any constructive comments and feedback.